birthday is just a bullshit and ordinary day for me.
but just ppl seeing me and saying a sentence of happy birthday to me only.
i didnt felt the joy and excitement in it at all&
this is really so bad that first time im saying this kind of things here.
i felt so sad and pathetic that i even have to go buy my own cake and when i rush down all the way to the place justnow, hoping to just get a slice of cake to treat and celebrate myself,
Y DOES GOD EVEN DON ALLOW ME to do that TOO! it just something so small and yet it don even let me achieve it too!
and my mind was just full of thoughts and thinking of..... and more....
hurts me,
all the broken promises again and again really hurts me, from family to friends and those people i think are important and special to me,
im disappointed and also at myself cos maybe im just a too lousy friend,
who doesnt deserve nice treat from ppl!
but i will not and shall not trust any ppl easily now, esp guys, cos they are just jerk& big liar!
all these really make me couldnt even control justnow to tear while waiting for the bus to go home and on the bus home and even alone back home.
but i felt like a big fool crying over it now.
its the just the start of my 20 yet i had felt so badly,
and its also e only yr that i have no cake at all and no wishes made cos every year also won come true,
this day is really nothing special cos i still got to go do the stupid pam report now! ):
